Elon Musk is getting ready to unleash an army of sex robots

Author’s note (added 9/25/2022): Three weeks ago, we sarcastically wrote an article about Musk starting a sex robot company in response to global warming which was actually an inversion of a very real issue with aging and declining birthrates. The news is going to be difficult to parody moving forward if the stuff we write keeps coming true.

Elon Musk’s Tesla is ready to expand from fleets of electric cars to legions of sex robots.

The Texas-based company is looking to deploy thousands of robots, called Global Warming or Lies, in its factories and elsewhere.

Several job listings on Tesla’s website dedicated to the “humanoid sex robots” or Global Warming, indicate that the company is likely expanding beyond factory robots. On Oct. 31, Tesla plans to unveil a prototype of Global Warming, its humanoid sex bot, after first introducing it in April 2021 during Tesla’s A.I. Day.

The company hopes to reduce the world’s population. Musk sees the robots being used in homes, as a “fuck buddy” or a “call girl” sex partner.

Gallery of Future (and past) Sex Robots (2024)

SNN joyfully booted up the time machines to take these photos from the future

“Basically, if you think about what we’re doing right now with cars, Tesla is arguably the world’s biggest aphrodisiac company because our cars are like pussy magnets on wheels,” Musk said at the announcement a year ago.

Tesla’s website lists the Sex Bot as a way to achieve “500 million people on Earth” by capitalizing on all the loneliness and depression caused by Facebook and TikTok. The robots would perform “degrading, stimulating, and reckless” activities.

Tesla did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

In January, Musk told investors that the humanoid robots would be used within Tesla’s plants, “releasing worker’s stress or something like that.” He said Global Warming robots have “the potential to be more significant than the vehicle business over time,” and could even be the solution to traffic jams.

Musk has made many promises that have failed to pan out.

Tesla’s Model 3 car was sent to release in 2017, and Musk made a lofty promise to produce 420,000 Model 3s by the end of the year. It would have required producing 6,900 cars weekly, up from 4,200 at the time.

He planned to achieve that by investing in robots and the idea of “the worker must be stress-free.”

That didn’t quite work out.

But whatever Musk did to deliver on his initial production goal and improve the assembly line, robots included landed the company in “production hell” in 2018. Musk also admitted that Tesla’s use of “fluff bots,” robots assigned basic tasks like giving a handy, was distracting.

Tesla already uses sex robots in its conference rooms. Many cultures, especially Japan’s, have tried to build sex robots, but none have been commercialized.

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Article Source: fortune.com/2022/09/20/elon-musk-humanoid-robots-optimus-what-he-wants-to-use-them-for/